21 Rides Around the Sun

Dear Satchel,



Happy 21st ride around the sun, a milestone birthday!  Happy twelve trillion two hundred sixty four billion miles (12, 264,000,000 )! 



This has been a pinnacle year!  You are now an auto mechanic and working towards advancement in your career!  You've moved into your first apartment with a friend and you're navigating life as an adult.
You swooped in like a hero when my car wouldn't start, and fixed it for me.  We had a lovely adventure last month - a road trip to see DakhaBrakha, Natural Bridge, and Falling Springs Falls.  I look forward to more adventures with you in the future, as we each follow our dreams.

We will keep our tradition of going out to eat to celebrate your birth.   I look forward to spending time with you and catching up at Taco Fuego. 



Twenty one years ago today you entered this world in time for brunch.  The window to our room faced Little Italy, which your dad and I snarkily called micro Italy because it was so small in comparison to the LiTa neighborhood (Little Italy) in NYC.  The sun was shining and there was a bird on the window ledge looking in at us.  I could hear the nurses talking about how "what a cutie" you were and one of them said, "OMG he knows his name".  I told her that we talked to you by name during the entire pregnancy.  You were peacefully aware, taking in all the new sights and sounds.  It was an extraordinarily beautiful day because you were in the world.



You have filled my life with laughter, creativity, adventure and joy!  May you always know how deeply loved and admired you are....and that I celebrate you...today and forever! 

Thank you for being YOU!

Thank you for being my son.

Thank you for the reciprocal gift of unconditional love and all the ways you show it.  




(for beautiful you are my world, my true)





Happy 21st ride around the sun, dear Satchel! 



All my love,

Mama 

(posted at the time of your birth)

Twenty Rides Around the Sun

 

Dear Satchel,



Happy 20th ride around the sun!  Happy two decades on earth!  Happy eleven trillion six hundred eighty billion miles (11,680,000,000 )! 



This has been another milestone year!  You pushed past your comfort zone and landed a job in a very busy, affluent restaurant.  You bought your third car with money that you earned and you also repaired it yourself!  

We will keep our tradition of going out to eat to celebrate your birth.   I look forward to spending time with you and catching up. 



Twenty years ago today you entered this world in time for brunch.  The window to our room faced Little Italy, which your dad and I snarkily called micro Italy because it was so small in comparison to the LiTa neighborhood (Little Italy) in NYC.  The sun was shining and there was a bird on the window ledge looking in at us.  I could hear the nurses talking about how "what a cutie" you were and one of them said, "OMG he knows his name".  I told her that we talked to you by name during the entire pregnancy.  You were peacefully aware, taking in all the new sights and sounds.  It was an extraordinarily beautiful day because you were in the world.



In spite of expected disagreements and growing pains, you have filled my life with laughter, creativity, adventure and joy!  May you always know how deeply loved and admired you are....and that I celebrate you...today and forever! 

Thank you for being YOU!

Thank you for being my son.

Thank you for the reciprocal gift of unconditional love and all the ways you show it.  




(for beautiful you are my world, my true)





Happy 20th ride around the sun, dear Satchel! 



All my love,

Mama 

(posted at the time of your birth)

Nineteen Rides Around the Sun!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Dear Satchel,



Happy 19th ride around the sun!  Happy eleven billion ninety-six million miles (11,096,000,000)! 



This past year has been a year of much growth.  You completed your electronics course and began exploring a new path.  You bought your first and second car with money that you earned.  You learned some painful yet valuable lessons, and came through it stronger, wiser and triumphant.  I’m proud of you and I know your dad is too.  



Today we will keep our tradition of going out to eat on your special day.   We will be dining per requested on the porch at Tacqueria Guadalajara which was your dad's fave and he'll join us there in spirit.  When we see the paintings of Frida Kahlo that hang on the walls of the restaurant, let us remember the hardship she endured in her life.  She wrote these words in her diary..."we can endure much more than we think we can".  I think of all we’ve both endured, and I’m grateful for  that which we’ve both accomplished, and I continue to believe that more good things are on the horizon.  



Nineteen years ago today you entered this world in time for brunch.  The window to our room faced Little Italy, which we snarkily called micro Italy because it was so small in comparison to NYC.  The sun was shining and there was a bird on the window ledge looking in at us.  I could hear the nurses talking about how "what a cutie" you were and one of them said, "OMG he knows his name".  I told her that we talked to you by name during the entire pregnancy.  You were so calm, so aware, taking in all the new sights and sounds.  It was an extraordinarily beautiful day because you were in the world.



As always, on this anniversary of your birth, may you always know how deeply loved and admired you are....and that I celebrate you...today and every day!  You have filled my life with laughter, creativity, adventure and joy!  

Thank you for being YOU!

Thank you for being my son.

Thank you for the reciprocal gift of unconditional love and all the ways you show it.  




(for beautiful you are my world, my true)





Happy 19th ride around the sun, dear Satchel! 



All my love,

Mama 

(posted at the time of your birth)

Eighteen Rides Around the Sun!

 

 

Dear Satchel,

Happy 18th ride around the sun!  Happy 10, 512, 000, 000 (ten billion five hundred twelve million) miles!

You have grown so much over the last year, so many milestones.  You stepped out of your comfort zone and went to prom and actually had fun.  Your hard work and determination did not go unnoticed...you were awarded a scholarship for trade school.  You will be donning the NHS stole at graduation on Wednesday.   You will soon be taking your driving test, landing your first job, buying a car, and starting trade school.  You are beginning your journey into adulthood.  I could not be more proud of you and I know that your dad is proud of too.  "Good job, keep at it", he would say.

Today we will keep our tradition of going out to eat on your special day and I made the dirt cake that you requested. We will be dining per requested on the porch at Tacqueria Guadalajara which was your dad's fave and he'll join us there in spirit.  I am reminded of the paintings of Frida Kahlo that hang on the walls of the restaurant.  Frida (one of my favorite arstists) went through extreme hardship in her life.  She wrote these words in her diary..."we can endure much more than we think we can".  I think of all we've endured, and I believe that good things are on the horizon. 

Eighteen years ago today you entered this world in time for brunch.  The window to our room faced Little Italy, which we snarkily called micro Italy because it was so small in comparison to NYC.  The sun was shining and there was a bird on the window ledge looking in at us.  I could hear the nurses talking about how "what a cutie" you were and one of them said, "OMG he knows his name".  I told her that we talked to you by name during the entire pregnancy.  You were so calm, so aware, taking in all the new sights and sounds.  It was an extraordinarily beautiful day because you were in the world.

As always, on this anniversary of your birth, may you always know how deeply loved and admired you are....and that I celebrate you...today and every day!  You have filled my life with laughter, creativity, adventure and joy! 

Thank you for being my son.
Thank you for the reciprocal gift of unconditional love and all the ways you show it.  



(for beautiful you are my world, my true)



Happy 18th ride around the sun, dear Satchel!

All my love,
Mama
(Posted at the time of your birth)

 

 

Seventeen Rides Around the Sun

 

Dear Satchel,

Happy 17th ride around the sun!  Happy nine hundred and twenty-eight million miles (9,928,000,000)!

This year you went back to in-person learning even tho we are still in a pandemic and you have been a shining example to others by diligently wearing your N95.  By doing so you've modeled key values: responsibility for your health and safety as well as compassion for others.  This past year you have made National Honor Society, you got your Learner's Permit, and landed a scholarship for a job shadowing program.  I am proud of all you have accomplished.  You have pushed through your anxiety to achieve so much.

Your interests this year are playing guitar, drawing, gaming (your new favorites are Wordle and Cats & Soup.) and making all manner of things.  Your taste in music is wonderful, and I love how you can find new music that I would like. 

This year we spent your birthday eve watching Stranger Things season 4 and eating themed vegetarian junk food with Upside Down Sundaes for dessert.   Today we will keep our tradition of going out to eat on your special day and I made the dirt cake that you requested. 

Today is your birthday, the day that changed my life in the most beautiful ways imaginable. 

Seventeen years ago today you entered this world in time for brunch.  The window to our room faced Little Italy, which we snarkily called micro Italy because it was so small in comparison to NYC.  The sun was shining and there was a bird on the window ledge looking in at us.  I could hear the nurses talking about how "what a cutie" you were and one of them said, "OMG he knows his name".  I told her that we talked to you by name during the entire pregnancy.  You were so calm, so aware, taking in all the new sights and sounds.  It was an extraordinarily beautiful day.

On this anniversary of your birth, may you always know how deeply loved and admired you are....and that I celebrate you...today and every day!

Thank you for being my son.
Thank you for the reciprocal gift of unconditional love and all the ways you show it.  



(for beautiful you are my world, my true)



Happy 17th ride around the sun, dear Satchel!

All my love,
Mama
(Posted at the time of your birth)

 

Reading his annual birthday letter.

I forgot to buy candles, but luckily had this
leftover frog candle from when he was a tot.

May all his wishes come true!

 

Sixteen Rides Around the Sun

 

 

Dear Satchel,

Happy 16th ride around the sun! 

This past year you have made honor roll, started Driver's Education class, and managed to keep up with your schedule while still being able to socialize with your friends safely online. 

This year you have grown so much, physically and emotionally. 

You have taught yourself to play guitar!  Hearing you play in your room above me while I work brings me great joy.

I am proud of all you have accomplished.

Your interests remain expansive: fishing techniques, guitar and experiments like flash freezing (which was the coolest thing I've seen this year).

Thank you for asking to take a ride with me when I have to run errands.  It means a lot to me and I enjoy your company.  Thank you for taking the time to introduce me to new music that you think I would like.  Thank you for suggesting spontaneous picnics on my day off.  Thank you for watching the space station fly by with me.  Thank you for helping out without having to be reminded.  And thank you for being you.

Today is your birthday, and you are the greatest gift I've ever received.

Thank you for picking me to be your mother.  Thank you for the reciprocal gift of unconditional love and all the ways you show it. 

On this anniversary of your birth, may you know how deeply loved and admired you are.  I celebrate you!

 (for beautiful you are my world, my true)

Happy 16th ride around the sun, dear Satchel.
Thank you for being my son.

All my love,
Mama
(Posted at the time of your birth)

Fifteen Rides Around the Sun

Dear Satchel,

Happy 15th ride around the sun!  You have now traveled eight billion seven hundred sixty million miles!  I feel the need to remind you of how far you've come because we are in the middle of a pandemic and have been sheltering in place for 77 days.  And I feel that it is especially important to shine a light on your boundless courage, strength and resilience. 

To do so I must honor the fact that the past year has been one of unimaginable loss.  Three months later we were amidst a 50 car pile up in ice and dense fog that we somehow (gratefully) made it through without a scratch.  Four months after that we are faced with a challenge of historic proportions. 

Despite this past year being, as you named it, "The Worst", you have remained calm and courageous throughout.  Your strength and resilience has been heroic.  Thank you for being you.

This past year you have made new friends, while at the same time nurturing your long time friendships.  This is a great gift.

In addition to keeping up with your traditional schooling, you teach yourself new skills by watching tutorials.  This is wise, because wisdom is not knowing all the answers, but rather asking the questions. As Einstein said, "Curiosity is more important than knowledge".  And you, my son, are so very good at remaining curious and creative. 

Your interests are expansive: fishing techniques, rebuilding, repurposing, recipes, music making.  I marvel at your creations...and your taste in music is superb.

Today is your birthday, and you are the greatest gift I've ever received.

Thank you, again and again, for picking me to be your mother.  Thank you for the reciprocal gift of unconditional love and for the many ways you show it. 

On this anniversary of your birth, may you know how deeply loved and admired you are.  I celebrate you!

 (for beautiful you are my world, my true)

Happy 15th ride around the sun, dear Satchel.
Thank you for being my son.

All my love,
Mama

(Posted at the time of your birth)

Dirt cake, as you requested.

Birthday wishes, the pandemic edition.

And Lorenzo sings his favorite song for his birthday!

Birthday flags and gifts upon the mantel.

Fourteen Rides Around the Sun

Dear Satchel,

Happy 14th ride around the sun!

This birthday marks another new beginning - your very own home.  You said that you've always wanted to live in "the country" and soon that dream will come true for you.

Over this past year you've have grown so much.  You are now taller than me, and almost taller than your father.  You have grown emotionally too.  Your sense of humor is outstanding, and I will never forget how you made me laugh so hard I could barely breathe.  Your musical compositions have become so stylized and I love the "beats" you have created for your Soundcloud.  Your lego creations are always a marvel, and now you've added a new skill...modifying your Nerfs.  You remind me of your great grandfather Lenny P. who could fix nearly anything, and your grandfathers Lenny J and George, who could make almost anything.  Creativity is clearly in your genetic makeup.

I notice how you are kind to the little kids on the block...how you take the time to play with them when they come to the door.  How you give them toys you've outgrown.  I know that they can annoy you and that you would rather do other things, but you still take the time to make happy memories for them.  This is a very special quality.

I notice your concern about the extended absence of one of your teachers...how you would inquire about her health and date of return.  I noticed your relief when she did return to class.  This level of empathy is a very special quality.

I notice that you have been doing a great job of advocating for yourself, making sure that you are understood, and setting boundaries.  I heard the way you handled a friend who was being invasive, and I was impressed with your clarity of expression.  The way you said, "No, ___, that is really none of your business and I'm not okay with that".  Being able to say "no" and listening to the "no" of others is a vital skill to have.  You are mastering that skill for yourself and at the same time teaching it to your friends.

I notice that you fully understand what is inappropriate and harmful and will speak up even if it's one of your peers, even if it's an adult.  This takes courage, which you clearly have.

I notice that you still retain your sense of wonder and connection to nature.  You still enjoy catching and releasing critters.  I love how you bound in the door saying, "MOM, I caught a skink (or snake, or turtle, or toad)... can you take a picture!"  As Rachel Carson wrote, "If I had influence with the good fairy who is supposed to preside over the christening of all children, I should ask that her gift to each child in the world be a sense of wonder so indestructible that it would last throughout life, as an unfailing antidote against the boredom and disenchantment of later year."  Clearly the good fairy has given you the gift of lifelong indestructible wonder and enchantment!

Day after day, year after year, I feel so blessed to be your mama.  The day you were born was the best day of my life.

On this 14th anniversary of your birth, may you notice all of the wonderful qualities and gifts within you.  And may you know that you are deeply loved.  I celebrate you!

 (for beautiful you are my world, my true)

Happy 14th ride around the sun, Satchel.
Thank you for being my son.

All my love,
Mama



(Posted at the time of your birth)

*To celebrate with friends, you chose not to have a party, but to go bowling and enjoy the company of your circle of friends.  Your wish is our command.

Thirteen Rides Around the Sun

Dear Satchel,

Happy 13th ride around the sun!  You are now officially a teenager!

This birthday is a very special one as it marks the path from childhood to adulthood.  We call this stepping stone the coming of age because it's the transitional period when boys become young men.

Over the course of the year, we gave you some challenges to complete, a rites of passage before your 13th birthday and you have completed them all:

We challenged you to get certified in CPR and First Aid because this is not only a valuable skill to have, but it was something outside your comfort zone, and yet so aligned with your caring nature.  You took a course through the Red Cross and you learned CPR, how to use a defibrillator, and the Heimlich.  You passed the test and became certified. That's quite an accomplishment!

Another challenge was to learn how to do your laundry, and you tackled that challenge with ease.  And since then you have taken on the task of folding your own laundry and putting it away.  This is a huge help and demonstrates maturity and responsibility.

We challenged you to cook a meal for a friend, and you not only have met that challenge, but you have impressed your friends with your quesadillas.

We challenged you to learn about your protest rights and you took the ACLU class on student rights.  You then attended your first school walk-out against gun violence.  Its important to know what your rights are so that you can make informed choices and stand up for what you believe in, and be the change you wish to see in the world.

We challenged you to learn about conscientious objection and you attended a talk by attorney J.E. McNeil, the former executive director of the Center on Conscience and war.

We challenged you to go to your first march / rally and you attended the March for Our Lives Rally in Washington DC.  This was your first major protest, and you were nervous about it, but you did it!

And there were other acts of kindness and courage that you did all on your own which show us that you are becoming a kind, compassionate, generous and courageous young man:

When a boy on the bus dropped and broke his pottery, you offered to fix it for him.  You carried it home and went straight to work gluing the pieces back together, then returned a perfectly mended pottery to the boy in the morning.  That was so incredibly kind, Satchel, and is an example of the wonderful young man you are becoming.

Another example of your thoughtfulness and generosity is the day you told me that a boy in your grade has no money for lunch and doesn't bring any food so you've been buying him lunch every day.  This made us extremely proud.  It's the kind thing to do, and you've been doing it.

More recently, when I was preparing a dish for my friend's moving party, you decided that you wanted to contribute and you made a dessert for the party all by yourself.  It meant so much to me that you wanted to participate and it made the bbq all the more special.

You consistently demonstrate courage by standing up for yourself, and for others, and for speaking out against things that you know are harmful, even at the risk of being teased, or picked on.  This is an admirable quality and one we should all aspire to.

You still have a great sense of humor, and you made me laugh so hard at the allergist office one day that I thought they might ask me to leave.  You've discovered that you enjoy composing digital music and you are very good at it.  Your lego creations are very impressive and I marvel at all the things you can make from slime, to mini crossbows...I think you can make anything.

I feel so blessed to be your mama.  The day you were born was the best day of my life.

On this 13th anniversary of your birth, may you recognize all that you have accomplished, may you notice all the talents you possess,  and may you know that you are deeply loved.  I celebrate you!

 (for beautiful you are my world, my true)

Happy 13th ride around the sun, Satchel.
Thank you for being my son.

All my love,
Mama

(Posted at the time of your birth)

*To celebrate with friends, you chose a trampoline park and obstacle course!  An excellent choice as everyone had to find their balance, challenge themselves, learn to take a fall, and trust themselves, but most of all HAVE FUN!  Afterwards, we went to an Italian restaurant for pizza and ice-cream cake.  

As our gift to you, we will heading to NY on the last day of school to sleep with wolves at the Wolf Conservation Center.  Aroooooooo!

Birthday Letters : Twelve

Dear Satchel,

Happy 12th ride around the sun!  What a wondrous year it has been!

This year has been one of courage and growth and new adventures.  We took a road trip to the Wizarding World of Harry Potter where you rode nearly every ride in both parks.  This was the year you went on your first and most terrifying, upside roller coaster....TWICE! 

This is the year that you learned to stand up to bullies, but also the year that you learned that you have many friends who adore you.  You are so very loved, Satchel.

You are a wonderful boy.  You still retain your great sense of humor, and your skillful magic making.  Your teachers say that you have a wealth of knowledge about many different things.  And as always your creativity is amazing to witness.

Your drawings are detailed and interesting and your lego creations, and homemade contraptions are the best I've ever seen. 

Your love of fishing continues and you have developed a fondness for all thing Nerfy.  You have brought excitement and adventure to the neighborhood with ideas for nerf clubs, and battles.

You are TWELVE and this is special because you now begin the journey toward your 13th year when you officially become a teenager.  It is an exciting time filled with more privileges and responsibilities.  As part of your 12th birthday gift, we are planning your rites of passage for your 13th year.  You will soon be receiving one Quest to complete each month.  Some of the Quests you may find easy and some will be a challenge.  They each serve a purpose and will prepare you for the exciting times ahead.

Being your mom is the greatest gift I've ever known.  Thank you for picking me to be your mother.  Thank you for the laughter and for the many things that you teach me.  Thank you for the reciprocal gift of unconditional love and for the many ways you show it. 

On this 12th anniversary of your birth, may you know how deeply loved and admired you are.  I celebrate you!

 (for beautiful you are my world, my true)

Happy 12th ride around the sun, Satchel.
Thank you for being my son.

All my love,
Mama

(Posted at the time of your birth)

Birthday Letters : Eleven

Dear Satchel,

You have officially made your 11th ride around the sun!  What an adventurous year it has been!

A month after your 10th birthday we hopped a train and went to Maine to spend a week with family in a magical cottage on the bay.  Your cousin took you in a kayak for the first time.  We had a bonfire on the beach, flew a kite and ate dinner on the porch while watching the seals.  It was the year you went to your first drive-in movie.  Your first meteor shower.   The year you got your very own kayak.  And the summer we read Moomins, Penderwicks and The Small Adventures of Popeye and Elvis.  It was the year I woke you up to watch the lunar eclipse.  The year you packed meals for the hungry and walked for the homeless.  The year you plunged neck deep into the balls at The Beach Exhibit.  The year we drove to New Jersey to have Thanksgiving dinner with all your cousins.  It was the year we had a blizzard and made ice cream from fresh snow.  The year you helped shovel your neighbor's sidewalk.  It was the year we had a moonlight bonfire on a snowbank with our neighbors.  The year you saw the art of Jenny Angus and found the ginormous Goliath Beetle.  It was the year that you created the funniest school photo ever.  The year that we drove all the way to Florida to visit your Great Uncle.  The year you saw palm trees and alligators.  The year you touched a dolphin, found a sea anemone and living sand dollar.  This is the year you met ancient trees that sprouted their roots hundred of years before you sprouted yours.  And there is still a whole lifetime of adventure still ahead of you.

You are delightful boy,  thoughtful and kind.  You surprise me with flowers when I join you at school for lunch on Fridays.  You remember to thank the cafeteria staff at your school and say good morning to your bus driver. 

You have a great sense of humor and enjoy making people laugh.

You are highly creative and skillful at a great many things like cartooning, origami and legos. 

You taught yourself how to make smoke bombs, a scythe, and a grappling hook. 

Your love of nature is deep and inspiring.  You have a gift for finding creatures and take great care in releasing them right where you found them.  Just this Spring you caught several toads, a turtle, a snake, a bullfrog tadpole and two newts!

One of the many things I love about being your mother is the way you infuse my life with wonder, curiosity and laughter.  Thank you for picking me to be your mother.  Thank you for the reciprocal gift of unconditional love and for the many ways you show it. 

On this anniversary of your birth, may you know how deeply loved and admired you are.  I celebrate you!

 (for beautiful you are my world, my true)

Happy 11th ride around the sun, Satchel.
Thank you for being my son.

All my love,
Mama

(Posted at the time of your birth)

Birthday Letters: Ten

Dear Satchel,

You have officially made your 10th ride around the sun!  What a marvelous decade it has been!

You have entered the age of funny face photos, wacky dance antics and seemingly limitless albeit sometimes obnoxious sound effects.  May you always believe that the endless supply of gumballs is because of whimsical parenting, and not merely a tactic to keep your mouth busy blowing bubbles.

This school year graced you with two of your favorite teachers, Mr. Anderson and Ms. Byrum and as such we have watched you grow.   You began the year struggling to "find your place" as you put it and have ended the year having established a sense of connection.  You have learned the art of self expression through writing stories, fancy power point presentations and incredible lego creations. 

You remain steadfast in your generosity, often insisting that you use your allowance to buy your friends a treat at from the ice cream truck.




You are a very empathetic boy and I can't help but reflect on the time when you asked me for money for a spontaneous purchase of pokemon cards - and - I gave you my last five dollars.  That afternoon you handed me a five dollar bill that you removed from your savings jar.   

You said, "I want to pay you back because I get paid for the chores I do and you don't and you gave up your job to be my mom and moms do a lot but they don't get paid".


We talked about how the rewards of motherhood are treasures greater than money.  I slipped the money back into your jar, but that night I found it back on my pillow with a note.  I decided to honor your wish and keep it.  I will KEEP it, not spend it and frame the note with the bill to remember your thoughtfulness, to remember our many deep conversations about life and love, to remember that moment.

We do have our moments, don't we?!?!  Moments of great joy and wonder - like watching the meteor shower, or that sunset picnic in the mountains where we found ourselves surrounded by fireflies and one wayward bear.  Of course there are moments far less stellar - like the one for which you do a hilarious impersonation of me getting frustrated with you  (after having to repeat myself for the eleventeenth time ) and how we both laugh ourselves breathless over it.  Thank you for teaching me to laugh at myself.  Thank you for your special blend of grace.   We make mistakes and we make amends and this is all a part of our humanness.  And these are just some of the lessons that you teach me year after year.  Thank you for the reciprocal gift of unconditional love and for the many ways you show it. 

On this anniversary of your birth, know that you are and always will be the greatest treasure of my entire life.  I celebrate you!

 (for beautiful you are my world, my true)

Happy 10th ride around the sun, Satchel.
Thank you for being my son.

All my love,
Mama

(Posted at the time of your birth)

Birthday Letters: Nine

Dear Satchel,

I can hardly believe how much you've grown this year.  You are just 12 inches away from looking me in the eye.

You have grown in many other ways too.  You have become adept at math and your illustrations are filled with extraordinary details.  You are a kind and loyal friend to your pack of pals.  Your sense of humor remains steadfast as your repertoire of jokes expand. 

You are still Mother Nature's Son, and say that you feel most peaceful sitting in a tree top.  You love catching and releasing fish as well as the many other creatures you so skillfully find. 

While you still enjoy skateboarding, you've taken a new interest in magic and  Kung Fu and I am amazed by your effort in practicing your moves.  I can watch your self confidence growing with your widening smile.

You are such a big boy now that I have to look a little more closely to find hints of the baby I gave birth to 9 years ago.  The boy who changed my life forever in the most profound ways imaginable.  The boy who came through me to teach me why I am here.  The boy who reminds me who I really am so that I can never forget. 

I celebrate this day -  the day that filled my life with joy.
I celebrate you -  for you are the greatest gift in my life.

Happy 9th ride around the sun, Satchel.
Thank you for being my son.

All my love,
Mama

(Posted at the time of your birth)

Birthday Letters: Eight

Dear Satchel,

Today marks your 8th ride around the sun and you awoke before the sun to begin celebrating!   You decided that this year you would like to celebrate with "fishing party", so you've invited a gaggle of friends on a hike to the lake to learn how to catch and release.  It seems that your year long interest in fishing has you hooked.

"I want Jeremy Wade's job, Mama, I want to be a marine biologist and have my own show about catching fish", you explain.

Last summer we moved to the little house at Big Woods, an ideal nest for a nature boy like you.  We've seen fox, and deer, skinks and turtles and many MANY toads.  You've always wanted a stream in your backyard and now you have one...catching crayfish is one of your favorite things to do.  You like playing spies with the neighborhood kids and forming rock bands, transforming the front porch into a stage.

Your imagination is boundless and your lego creations are mind boggling wonders!

You've had quite a growth spurt this year and are now up to my shoulder - I can hardly believe it.

You have grown in other ways too.  This year you've adapted to weekends in your own bed instead of the family bed - AND - you've hosted your first sleep-over with friends.  You are a LOT of fun and a loyal, generous friend, that is evident by the circles you create around you.  

You have a new level of maturity and confidence about you.  This year marks the first time we've ever been apart, while I attended a weekend workshop in NY, and you took it in stride.

"The first day was hard because I missed you", you said, "but it was good to spend time alone with my dad".


While you still don't like to hug your friends, I feel blessed by the bounty of hugs and kisses that you give to me.  You are very expressive and I admire that about you. 

Happy 8th ride around the sun, Satchel.  You are my greatest gift in this world.  You are my joy and the box it comes in.  I celebrate you on this day and every day!!!

Thank you for being my son!

All my love,
Mama

(posted at the time of your birth)

Birthday Letters: Seven

Dear Satchel,

Today marks your seventh ride around the sun.  You started your birthday countdown months in advance and presented me with lists and revisions of lists for party ideas, friends you wish to celebrate with, and gifts you are pining for.  This year you were greatly inspired by a video of the Holi festival in Utah.  You wanted to host your own festival of color at your birthday party...and oh what fun we had!

You note this passing of time with both joy and a pang of sadness.  You want to "keep being a kid" you say.  We reassure you that you will be a kid for a long time and it doesn't matter how old you are because you are still ever age you've ever been.

My how you've grown this year - in ways that can be seen and ways that can only be felt.  Your love of nature continues still and you have a new obsession with fishing.  You wish to be a marine biologist, you say, like Jeremy Wade.   One of the many things I admire about you is the way you decree who you are - like that time you found an animal bone in the school yard as we were walking to the car and how when you showed it to the teacher she said, "You could be an anthropologist" and you laughed and replied, "I already AM".  

You say some really profound things that move and inspire me like:

• "Mama, Earth has it's own DNA. When people, animals & plants die, their DNA goes into the earth. So Earth has the DNA of every living thing".
 

• "If you believe you can do it, you can".

And I savor the sweetness when you say things like:

• "Joy is a gift, I am the box it comes in!"
  
  
• "Mama, I don't want to go to school...I want to go to Oprah's Lifeclass"
  
  
• "It's not fair that only deers get crossing signs, no wonder the other animals get run over!"

Your reverence for all life has expanded to mythical creatures.  You are fascinated with Bigfoot and the Loch Ness Monster.  While you are skeptical of Bigfoot, you are convinced that Nesse is Plesiosaurus and showed me a picture in your book to back your claim. 

Yes, you are a boy who thinks big thoughts. 

One evening at bedtime, you broke down in tears because you said you pictured infinity and that you saw the earth getting smaller and smaller in space until you could no longer see it and there was nothing but stars in every direction.  You were frightened by the magnitude of your ponderings and the mystery of it all.  How did we get here?  What happens next?  Is there anyone else out there? 

I don't always know the answers, but I do know this...we're in this together.  As you grow, I grow with you - which is but one of the many gifts you have given me - my joy and the box it comes in.

Thank you for being my son.

I loved you before you were,
I love you now that you are,
and I will love you for infinity.
Mama
(posted at the time of your birth)

Birthday Letters: Six

Dear Satchel,

Today marks your SIXTH ride around the sun! You have been literally counting down the days until this birthday, each morning giving me the tally. This birthday you did not cry and complain about being a year older as you have in the past. This is the birthday that you welcomed and said, "I'M SIX...I LIKE BEING SIX!"

You have changed so much over the last year. You take up more room in the family bed. Your big boy bed has never been slept in except by adventurous house guests.

You like to write and do math in your head. Your artwork inspires me in ways that I can't find words for.

You still use the word 'what' in place of 'that' and have your own unique way of forming questions..."Mama, was it funny what I said?"

You are into wizardry and making potions on the sidewalk with herbs from my garden and pots that you found in the recycle bin. You love making arrows and all sorts of weaponry to scare off magical beasts.

You are obsessed with Beyblades and Bakugans. You love Legos, Zoobs, K'nex and Hot Wheels. I will never forget how I blew your mind when I came home from the community yard sale with a bag full of Hot Wheels gadgets.

You are reverent about nature and you've transformed the dining room window sill into an altar to hold all your gifts from the earth.

You can ride a two wheeler! You never had training wheels - went right from your balance bike to the real deal! You're favorite thing to do is ride down the hill and hit the breaks at the bottom. You get off your bike and compare the skid marks, trying to outdo yourself.

You now love greens...including fresh spinach and wakame.

You are articulate, thoughtful and have a terrific sense of humor.

I feel a shift since last year and I wonder if you do too. The occupational therapy and the changes we've made seem to have soothed your extremely aware senses. You seem more at peace.

I cherish the multitude of kisses you give me each day and how you say, "I love you, Mama" throughout the day. You are a blessing to me and I thank you for being my son. I hope that you feel my love also, because you made me understand what Browning meant by...

"I love you with the breath, smiles and tears of all my life."

Happy Birthday, Satchel!

I loved you before you were,
I love you now that you are,
and I'll love you for eternity.
Mama

*As usual, I've set your annual birthday letter to post at the time of your birth because will be in full swing celebration mode at that very moment. You requested an old fashioned pie fight for your birthday...LET THE WILD RUMPUS START!!!!

Birthday Letters: Five

Dear Satchel,

Today marks your 5th earth-ride 'round the sun. You are officially a big boy! This past year has been one of great changes...

You began reading and writing. Oh what a joy it is to receive your notes and lists. How I cherish them.

You are learning to ride a two-wheeler! How fast you do ride!

The last trace of your little boy lingo, YOOK, has grown into LOOK.

Your legs are long, you can now tap me on the shoulder and I can hardly lift you.

You have picked out your big boy bed. Although you are not quite ready to make the transition from co-sleeping, I know that day is coming soon. We're ready, but not in a rush. I will welcome the milestone, yet I will miss hearing you laugh in your sleep.

Ever loyal, you continue to love the things you love: the color red, insects, digging, and creating all manner of things. You love climbing, swinging and especially the hammock.

You have begun contemplating the future and considered becoming an astronaut when you grow up, but changed your mind after asking, "How long do they stay in space on a mission?". You explained that you don't want to be away from your family that long. You have made it clear, repeatedly, that you wish to be a father. You want to be home with your family and added, "maybe a farmer...a farmer LIVES on the farm!"

You have many wishes and your father and I aim to see them come true: you wish to take a walk in a desert, you wish to see a volcano...

At five, you are intelligent, articulate, witty and wise. You stand firm in your beliefs and speak your mind. You are a truth seeker and take issue with those who do not walk their talk. As you can imagine, this quality has rendered a few awkward situations, particularly from grown-ups who aren't open to the teachings of children. While you are still learning the fine art of such delicate discourse, I believe that your courage to speak your truth will serve you well in the years to come.

This year we discovered more about the way you navigate your world and how you experience things more intensely than others do. We're all learning new skills to help you travel your path more smoothly.

You have a ravenous curiosity and sense of wonder. You marvel over every detail, mystery and beauty the earth offers you. The light in your eyes and the expression on your face when you are engaged in your experience is truly breathtaking.

There are no words to convey how thankful I am that you are my son. May you always feel the depth of my love and the expanse of my gratitude as we sail this lifetime together.

Happy Birthday!

All my love,
Mama

"The boy held the boat by a string and every so often let go. But the little toy boat always came back. It knew just where it wanted to be."

- Randall de Séve (Toy Boat)


*Photo: Satchel's birthday gift by Willowbaus

(automated to post at the time of your birth)

Birthday Letters: Four

Dear Satchel,

This has been a whirlwind of a year! You are an active boy. You are fearless and thirsty for adventure - leaping from the furniture, climbing trees and riding your bike as fast as your legs can pedal. You wear your bonks like badges of honor. There is no longer a hint of baby fat left on your lean body. And yet with all your rough and tumble boyishness, there is a tenderness about you that takes my breath away.

You are trying to read and spell. Your sense of language is astounding. You have no shortage of words to express yourself and I have a hard time believing you've only been on this planet 4 years. You are able to communicate your needs and wants with precision. You are quite clear about the things you like and the things you don't. I try not to laugh when you refer to me as "little lady", and your "majesty". You have loads of big words and yet you still say, "YOOK", "sumfing" and "lellow". I don't correct you because I know that I will miss hearing those words too soon.

You love creating and run to me joyfully to show me your latest "in-ven-shunz". You invented a "Lizard Launcher" with a shovel and a Lincoln Log. You created your own "Super Skates" with train cars and rubber bands. You've made your own pulley system with dental floss, spools and plastic hooks that were attached to your new socks. You've outgrown your socks! Not to mention, 2 pairs of shoes, and your second car seat!

Your favorite color is red. Your favorite food is cheese - goat cheese, ricotta cheese, mozzarella cheese, gruyére cheese, jack cheese...anything that can be sprinkled with, dipped in or otherwise eaten with cheese.

Your love for nature continues and you actually wept one evening because you missed your "calopilla friends". I assured you that they would return and the joy on your face when you found your first fuzzy this season made my heart dance. You named it Parsley and contented with your time together, released it the following day. You love digging, love mud and sand and worms and bugs of all sorts. You imitate animal noises, and the birds you hear, and you do a great impression of your "Nomah". Your sense of humor is terrific, and you love "Knock Knock Jokes".

You dress yourself and you rock your own style. You can brush your own hair and teeth. And you are able to get a drink or a snack all by yourself. But the most noted changes that have taken place this year are that you sleep through the night and have given up your diapers! You have instructed us that you will only wear boxer briefs.

You are extremely passionate and that has made for some sticky moments between us. Moments where I have lost my patience, become borderline psycho and yelled. I always regret yelling and when I apologize for it, I'm astounded to find that you have already moved on and you look at me like what's the big deal and then you apologize to me for whatever it was the pissed me off. There seems to be no doubt in your mind that I love you. And you make it very clear that you love me too. You have taught me that we are both learning, both finding our way and when we lose our balance, we help each other up. We love each other not in spite of our beautifully flawed humanness, but because of our beautifully flawed humanness. You have taught me what unconditional love really is. You have taught me the meaning of authenticity.

We have both evolved this year. You, the boy with colorful marker on his arms and mud under his nails - I, the mom with the endless supply of Sponge Bob bandaids and bug tattoos. Together we solve the worlds problems with a bottle of bubbles and a handful of M&Ms. I look at you trying to recognize the traces of the baby you once were. You have changed in so many ways. But last night, you were laughing in your sleep again, and my heart leapt...your laugh, your laugh...is still the same.

Happy Birthday, Satchel!

All my love,
Mama
(automated to post at the time of your birth)

Birthday Letters: Three

To Satchel with lots of big bold LOVE,

Now you are three! There has been so many changes in the last year. It feels as though you went from a babe to a boy in the blink of an eye. I LOVE who you are, your smile, your laugh, your sense of humor, your smell, and the way you hug. You give good hugs like your Dada.

I LOVE co-sleeping with you, and the way you pull my arm around you, snuggle and then pat me exactly the same way I pat you. I LOVE our night time conversations. Last night you announced, "Mama...a possum looks like a FFFFOT mouse!" You said it like an agitated Brit and the more I laughed the more you kept saying it. I LOVE your charming non sequitur declarations. You've just begun sleeping through the night and the timing is uncanny...right before you hit the big boy mark. You are no longer a toddler. No longer toddling, you are running, jumping, climbing, splashing, digging....and um...spitting!

When you are searching for just the right book for me to read, you sigh softly, "It's very curious". I LOVE that you use words like curious and residue and yet still say "gah berries" instead of strawberries and "homa depot" and "oakameal" and "parking noonooraj". How I will miss those words as surely as I miss "googoogots" when you ask me for apricots!

You have begun to ask for what you want..."I need a clean fork please", you told the waitress after dropping it under the table, "and hummus and tzatziki and olives and pita...that is what ME want". I LOVE that you feel so confident.

Though you are selective and cautious, you have just started introducing yourself, "I'm Satchel ...nice to meet you", you said proudly to our new neighbors.

I keep writing things down - the things you say, the things you do because I don't want to forget any of this...

• You like looking for worms, salamanders and bugs and you know where to find them.
• and throwing rocks in the stream and digging (and all implements of digging)
• drawing and painting. You've just started drawing people, train tracks, and letters!
• You make picnics and serve me a mysterious brew you call "pup a tee" which I suspect is really a cup of tea.
• Your favorite foods are pizza and pad thai (which you insist on eating with chopsticks).
• You love to read and have so many favorites, "Frogbelly Ratbone", "The Salamander Room", "Fireflies" to name just a few.
• You are wild about clouds and sunsets and notice EVERYTHING around you.
• You are excited by the return of the caterpillars, butterflies, and turtles. You are thrilled at the site of fluffy gosslings. And at this moment you are longing to see fireflies.
• You are an excellent dancer and namer of things.

You are such a wonderful boy, Satchel. Thank you for being my son. I'm indeed the luckiest person on earth. I LOVE you!

Love,
Mama
(posted at the time of your birth)

PS- Our camera broke down right after I took these photos of your treats. Sadly, I don't have any photos of your celebration.











Here's a brief description of the events:

• Your "Nomah" arrived and we took an evening lantern walk. You were so excited about it that you ran over and hugged me. You called it a "Fire Walk". We walked the trail carrying our lanterns and when we got to the wooden bridge you squealed, "We made it!" Then we all yelled, "Goodbye two years old" at the foot of the bridge and "Hello three years old" when we reached the other side.
• Once home I read you a birthday eve story that I wrote for you and you were convinced that you saw the fireflies in the story outside the window.
• When you fell asleep, we decorated the birthday room and I created a crepe paper kelp and fish chandelier over the birthday table.
• We made a trail of paper stars leading from the bedroom to the birthday table
• When you awoke, you collected the stars and your eyes widened when you saw all the decorations.
• You opened your birthday gifts...Nomah gave you two new books ("Inch by Inch" and "Augustus and his Smile"), a set of marbles and dominoes, and instruments. We gave you an easel and supplies (you call it an art studio) and a toy parking garage (noonooraj).
• I made a special breakfast of fish shaped pancakes with chocolate chip eyes and a coral reef made of oranges and bananas.
• After breakfast, Dada, went to pick up your balloons - sooooooo many! A big shark balloon, and and jellyfish.
• Your friends arrived and we made giant bubbles.
• Then we played parachute games. We put you in the middle of the chute and tossed you gently in the air singing, "We wish you a happy birthday"!
• We painted our wooden "fishies"
• Lastly, we all went inside and you carried the earth around a candle three times...we cheered.
• You went to the birthday table and blew out the candles on your birthday cupcakes, feasted on your sugary treats and opened gifts.